There are stories being written and spread that are so full of bullshit, that they could only come out on St. Patrick’s Day. Basically, the story goes like this, “Energy emissions went down 2 years in a row while the world economy grew at a steady 3%, therefore, we have decoupled* economic growth from emissions”. This is supposed to mean that we can have both lower emissions and economic growth. We can have our cake and eat it too. It’s The End of History again, a new ecological nirvana. Or, as Oprah would keep saying, “You get a unicorn! And you get a unicorn! Everybody gets a unicorn!”
Never mind that the actual measured amount of CO2 in the air has jumped an astonishing, never-before-recorded +3% this year! Never mind that February’s temperatures scared the fuck out of climate scientists so bad that you will no doubt hear the words, planetary emergency a lot this year. The only thing more important than this, in the coming months, will be the Trump emergency.
Although this decoupling story will be posted on nearly every “green” website, the 2 very worst sites for this crap are Common Dreams and Climate Progress. Both sites are written for progressive old farts who wish they were at the Battle In Seattle in the 90s, and for aspiring young farts who wish they were at Occupy Wall Street. I knew this was coming, they did the same story last year around this time.
It’s spring and love is in the air. It won’t be long now that Naomi Klein’s loins will moisten, and she will emerge from her green cocoon to show her face, and tell us how fucking wonderful the Germans are, and that we can all have 6X as many jobs with green energy as we can have from fossil fuel, and that the green socialist revolution will keep growing and bulging in its pants until it bursts free and fucks her silly.
For some reason, my comments are unwelcome at both these sites, which is why I started this blog in the first place. I got tired of writing the same words over and over again, just to have them deleted by moderators. In fact, my main incentive for starting this blog was to have all my argument ducks lined up in a row, all in one place, on the side of the tub. The only problem is that these decoupling stories make me so angry I can barely focus enough to spit let alone make my duckies quack.
I’ve been reading and commenting on so-called “progressive” sites for years now, and there’s 3 things I learned.
- Never criticize Naomi Klein or Bill McKibben for being media whores.
- Never criticize Noam Chomsky for saying, “911 wasn’t an inside job.”
- Never criticize Renewable Energy or say it’s unsustainable.
The reason these decoupling stories really piss me off is that they spread the notion that we are making progress, albeit, they solemnly intone, ever more progress is needed.
Tele-Eco-Evangelists Run Wild!
All of this is mere marketing designed to manage collapse and get rich quick before it all goes to shit. It’s like the truth is a plaything you can spin around, and if you’re good at playing with it, you can get rich and famous before it’s too late. I saw a hunting magazine last Fall telling hunters to go to Africa before all the big game are gone.
I have one very basic rule for discerning truth from fiction in the media, it goes like this, the more you notice something repeated in the media – the more likely it is not true. You may, wonder… what about you Loki? You’re pretty repetitive, aren’t you part of the media? The answer is no, I do this out of the pure, simple, worship of words and ideas. My proof? Nobody pays me to write this stuff (not that they would). And, there’s nothing the Irish love more than good bullshit, not the crap I see now everywhere .
For those who would like a primer on “green energy” or, if you really want help the planet, and get all your family and friends to hate you, then send them these links.
* Separating 2 dogs fucking.
This post is dedicated to my father, Fred Callaghan, who was born on St. Patrick’s day, and never saw a truth he didn’t like.