Loki’s Final Revenge

Loki, my border collie/black lab dog, woke me up last Sunday morning from my weekly hangover again by licking my face. He does it every week. There’s nothing unusual about that, except whenever he does, I can hear space aliens using his mind to telepathically speak to me. The space aliens and my dog always snicker together when they refer to this method of communicating as the, “Inferior net” – like as if I don’t get it, or something… Oh well, it’s not like I’m going to give up drinking or anything. But, what if one day I don’t wake up? Well, here’s what they told me so far:

Why Sea Level Is Uneven

In China, the Yellow River delta is currently sinking so fast that local sea levels are rising by up to 25 centimeters per year, nearly 100 times the global average. Places that were once covered by kilometers of ice, like northern Canada, are now rebounding upwards — which means local sea levels are actually falling in some parts of Alaska. But that upward-moving land is hinging nearby areas, like the U.S. East Coast, downward by millimeters per year — adding millimeters per year to the local sea level rise there. The U.S. East Coast has another problem too: Climate change is weakening the Gulf Stream current, and that is allowing water to slop back towards shore. Overall, the U.S. East Coast is seeing rates of sea level rise that are 3 to 4 times the global average. The tropics, meanwhile, are seeing extra sea level rise thanks to a strange gravitational effect. As high-latitude ice melts, there is less mass at the poles to pull ocean water towards them; instead, the water slopes more towards the equator.


The Tropics Are Set To Explode In Four Years

A team of 14 climate scientists say the Tropics (50% of earth) will suffer catastrophically permanent climate consequences by 2020, which I believe will lead to the area becoming uninhabitable.


Feedbacks Threaten Climate Overdrive

Peter Wadhams, a famous Arctic scientist, says that feedbacks now emit 1 carbon atom for every 2 that humans emit. This will only get worse as feedbacks accelerate.

Since this bad news more or less scares the piss out of me, I’ve decided to beat Loki to the punch next time with a list of my own predictions.

My Short Long Term Predictions

 financial/economic collapse September 2016.

 ecological/climate collapse starts in 2020

 world water and food shortages by 2025

 technological/civilizational collapse 2030

 runaway mass extinction by 2040

 billions of people dead and gone before 2050

 flooded steel and concrete towers by 2060

 5 °C temperature rise by 2070

 4 meter sea rise by 2080

 flooded concrete and steel towers start falling over 2085

 runaway hothouse by 2090

 tripling of ocean acidification by 2100

 the last survivors of humanity gone by 2110

Here’s What I Wrote In Early 2015


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